Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Be Victorious: Fighting a Great Fight!


For a few months now or perhaps it has really been for most of my life, I have always known that I would have a few battles before me to fight. I was walking on my toes since I was a child, by nine I was diagnosed with CMT, and my twelve I had my first major corrective surgery. And then when I was old enough to understand what my mother passed on from, I knew instinctively that I would have to continue carrying on the baton.

When I was in my early twenties I read somewhere that one should get mammograms ten years prior to the person closest (genetically) to them. Since at that point of my life the only person I could be that close to was my mother, I realized that I should have myself checked out yearly if possible. I remember walking into my first checkup and the ladies in the front desk said I was too young to get a mammogram done(I was 24)-well I told them my mother was too young to die. Yeap-that kept them quiet. I knew from then on I would have to be strong and when someone told me no, I would have to say yes, especially when it came to my health.

Fast forward to my late twenties and early thirties and I began having yearly mammograms. I would stop when pregnant and breast feeding but continued on with them after my body healed from child birth. I had my last one done this past December and its from that point that my fight changed. It was time I went to a higher level of proactiveness when it came to this part of my health.

Four months of doctors giving me the run around, not accepting me as a patient for whatever reason, and basically not getting connected to the right doctors. I have learned NOT to give up and do not take NO for an answer. You must be your biggest advocate when it comes to your health and well-being.
A few times I felt very emotional and scared. Not scared of the big C word but mostly scared that I wouldn't get the help I need. I may not be rich and famous but I AM important in this world (as everyone is) and bigger than any of that, I am important to my family. I thought deeply about my children, my biggest dream come true, and I refuse to leave them. I now know my PURPOSE is to not only be a mother but to be THEIR mother. I don't know how it came to me but I can share with you all that it felt like a whisper to my spirit. With thoughts of them-I championed on. 

With my amazing primary doctors help I have been connected to one of the best Breast Cancer Surgeons in New York. Today, I went to my appointment and she said she found something. I wasn't surprised as I have been feeling discomfort on both sides of my breasts especially before/during/after my monthly cycle. She did a biopsy and spoke to me at great length. She is spunky, kind, gentle, and very knowledgeable in her field. All the things I was praying for to find in a doctor. I knew I would have to find a surgeon to work with one day but of course I didn't know that day would be in my thirties.

I find out the results this Thursday. I also have to have an MRI and Genetic testing so that we know where we are heading with this. She is optimistic, as am I. 
I don't know where this journey will lead me. My mother dropped the baton when she passed but as her daughter I have proudly picked it up and will continue to stand brave and fight back-for her, for me, and more importantly of all-for my children. Because if I could I would scream this out from the top of my lungs..."I have to live for them! I have to live for them!"

Every night I pray for courage and strength and I pray that I will be allowed to see my children into adulthood. Now more than ever my purpose made clear. I love doing what I do and I would love to do many more things but I mostly would love to just be their mother here and now and tomorrow.

I am sharing this with you all because I want you to know your bodies and stand up for your own health. No one will care more or love you more than yourself. Please have your yearly mammograms if you are 30+ or of high risk. And do not forget to do you monthly self breast exam.

I will share my news as it progresses and ask that when you can, you could send me some positive thoughts and prayers. I feel good about all of this but of course it doesn't hurt to ask the universe for a little more courage and strength. Hugs to you all.....Bunny



22 comments:

  1. Praying for you. You are such a strong, courageous, beautiful woman and I know you will make it through.

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  2. Prayers and thoughts your way! I'm glad you have a great doctor to work with and the great thing is that you are very determined and proactive.

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  3. Thank you so much everyone!! xox

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  4. I am so glad you found a good doctor- they are worth their weight in gold! And good for you for being so proactive!
    Lastly, I'll be praying for you- please keep us posted!

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  5. I'm so glad you found a good doctor. I had a similar experience with trying to find a good doctor. I almost wish there was a medical yelp of some kind to help find the good ones. Pulling for you!

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  6. Your strength is so inspiring. My family history is a similar story and I agree you have to fight for yourself first and foremost. I hope your appointment goes well. Sending lots of love and light your way!

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  7. What a courageous and inspiring post, from a truly courageous and inspiring woman! Im sending you all the love and luck possible for tomorrow and beyond! xxx

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  8. Thank you my dears-you all are so sweet and kind and I treasure your loving words! I will def keep you all posted!!! xox

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  9. Very brave to share this post. Sending love and prayers to you. Very inspiring post xx

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  10. I cannot begin to imagine wait you are feeling. You are brave for more reasons than you know. I am wishing you the best news possible and if that can't be, then the best team of doctors and outcome.

    HRF

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  11. Right there with you. I have been having mammograms since I was 30, after my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had my first benign tumor removed in college. I have had 3 surgeries with a total of 5 benign tumors removed. My mother has survived and so did my maternal grandmother. The wait is horrible. I am thankful my doctors took it seriously. I have had the genetic testing done and I don't have the marker. Now, I just continue with my exams and mammograms. Sometimes, I feel like I an waiting for the other shoe to drop.
    Too many doctors don't take it seriously enough when you have a family history much less when you don't as in the case of my best friend. She had to push to get a mammogram and then a biopsy. She has just pasted her 5 year mark and she will be 51 this year.
    I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. If you need to talk, please e-mail me. ((((((hugs)))))
    Kim chevy49girl(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  12. Oh my word Bunny, what you have been going through! I pray that your tests come back all benign and all okay. My Mom just found out she has a mass on her kidney and she needs surgery regardless of what it may be (I can't even say anything beyond more than that, I don't even want that thought in my head). I am very worried, and I am sure you are just as worried. Keep strong my dear, and fight fight fight! Much love your way <3 :-)

    -Holly

    Veronica Vintage

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  13. We are all here supporting you!! Sending lots of love your way!!

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  14. Sending positive thoughts and support! We're strong women!

    Ivy

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  15. " I pray for courage and strength and I pray that I will be allowed to see my children into adulthood" my prayers are echoing yours. my heart goes out to you for the loss you had to deal with at such a young age and pray that it gives you greater strength and courage and knowledge as you face your own battle.

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  16. Dear sweet Bunny, with your strength and courage whatever gets tossed your way in this you are going to get through it! You and your family will be in my prayers!

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  17. Sending positive thoughts as well!

    My step-daughter's mother died when she was 12, and that is not something a child should have to experience. Or a parent be forced to leave their children. I applaud you for taking active steps to fight it!

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  18. My love and prayers to you Bunny!

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  19. 2 years ago, I got the news that they saw "something". After 2 surgeries and radiation, I am cancer free & healthy. I'll be remembering you in my prayers, and waiting to hear that you, too are cancer free & healthy!

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  20. Firstly, I've only just discovered your blog and wanted to thank you for such a lovely read! Secondly, I will be praying for continued courage and a positive result for you. Yours is a timely reminder that we can't afford to take our bodies for granted; as miraculous as they are, we are responsible for our continued good health.

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